Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Nothingness..
Shattered I am. Broken I am. It sucks. Liking the same girl so many times only to come back to the conclusion of killing that feeling because it doesn't seem like a possible option. But everytime I thought I killed the feeling, it gets resurrected and it haunts me more. I guess I haven't really killed it. Killing emotions is not easy. And I've done it before. But I hate it when it happens. And as always, I've got to do it again.
Finding out the girl u like is interested in another guy is the worst thing that can happen. Makes u feel insignificant for a moment. I'm speaking from previous experiences. It's not nice I tell you. It makes one feel depreciated. I'm not saying I won't stay friends with the person, I'm just saying it sucks. Forget my emotions. Forget my feelings. Take it all out of me and throw it in the nearest rubbish bin. I'm quite sick of it sometimes. Although they say that's what it's all about. I believe if 2 people are meant for each other, everything runs out smoothly. But maybe that's just my wishful thinking. If the guy likes the girl back, the least I could do is be happy for her for finding someone who meets her needs. *Takes all feelings and emotions and dumps it into a trash can*..I wish I could..
Currently being tormented by the endless datelines to meet. Endless I tell you. What's worst is when you can even solve your assignment and the dateline draws even nearer!!! Damn. I've got too many things on my hands I'm starting to learn time management in crash course mode. 4 assignments within the next 2 weeks. 1 lab, 1 design project, 2 pieces of coursework ( which one is due for tomorrow..and the next one next monday..). I'm struggling for my time. Trying to find time to do my example sheets for maths. Not easy when I'm being bombarded by tons of assignments.
Stress is at its peak for this month. Surviving this month ensures survival for the next month of stress. But at the core of my sustainance, is my trust in God to sustain me throughout the whole semester. I believe that He is my strength, and I can do all things through Him. Learning a lot bout God slowly. But it's worth it when I start to crawl back to God. I don't like to do it when I'm in trouble. But I feel that it's time for me to search for the Creator and repair my relationship with Him. It's interesting what you can learn from Him.
Well, faith embassy is coming this saturday at CBC Seapark which is situated in ss2. Along the cheow yang row. Starts at 5-7 pm. Entrance is free and it is open for all youth!:) So please do come!:)
That's it. I just felt like expressing myself in the midst of my sadness and stress. Till my next post..cheers!:) ¶ 11:15 PM
Finding out the girl u like is interested in another guy is the worst thing that can happen. Makes u feel insignificant for a moment. I'm speaking from previous experiences. It's not nice I tell you. It makes one feel depreciated. I'm not saying I won't stay friends with the person, I'm just saying it sucks. Forget my emotions. Forget my feelings. Take it all out of me and throw it in the nearest rubbish bin. I'm quite sick of it sometimes. Although they say that's what it's all about. I believe if 2 people are meant for each other, everything runs out smoothly. But maybe that's just my wishful thinking. If the guy likes the girl back, the least I could do is be happy for her for finding someone who meets her needs. *Takes all feelings and emotions and dumps it into a trash can*..I wish I could..
Currently being tormented by the endless datelines to meet. Endless I tell you. What's worst is when you can even solve your assignment and the dateline draws even nearer!!! Damn. I've got too many things on my hands I'm starting to learn time management in crash course mode. 4 assignments within the next 2 weeks. 1 lab, 1 design project, 2 pieces of coursework ( which one is due for tomorrow..and the next one next monday..). I'm struggling for my time. Trying to find time to do my example sheets for maths. Not easy when I'm being bombarded by tons of assignments.
Stress is at its peak for this month. Surviving this month ensures survival for the next month of stress. But at the core of my sustainance, is my trust in God to sustain me throughout the whole semester. I believe that He is my strength, and I can do all things through Him. Learning a lot bout God slowly. But it's worth it when I start to crawl back to God. I don't like to do it when I'm in trouble. But I feel that it's time for me to search for the Creator and repair my relationship with Him. It's interesting what you can learn from Him.
Well, faith embassy is coming this saturday at CBC Seapark which is situated in ss2. Along the cheow yang row. Starts at 5-7 pm. Entrance is free and it is open for all youth!:) So please do come!:)
That's it. I just felt like expressing myself in the midst of my sadness and stress. Till my next post..cheers!:) ¶ 11:15 PM
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No, it's not a fantasy that everything will go smoothly if you've found your perfect match, it does exist and it's true. Of course there are bumps when the relationship takes off but i believe that initially during the encounter process, it's gonna be smooth. God meant it to be for love not broken-heartedness. You just need to focus on Him. The One who can satisfy your soul and saturate you with everlasting love.
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