Monday, February 27, 2006
contemplating..
Why?
I don't know. Things have been running through my head. People have been annoying me. I don't know. Do I really have THAT which they say I do? I can't see the potential. Worst of all, I know if I want something I should go out and get it and not wait for it to come for me..but that's only if I WANT something.
What if I don't want it? Then there wouldn't be any effort placed into it. I guess reflecting on my own actions, I finally recognized one of my flaws. I'm not passionate about anything enough to push myself for it. I guess I'm way too laid back. No..I AM way too laid back. I've screwed up so many things. Now I look at myself in the mirror. All I can see is that I have nothing to be passionate about. More like my passions have been doused out. I feel life is pointless at times.
Then I wonder why some people are so successful. Why are they so smart? So intelligent? So much better compared to my current level. I guess the answer lies in passion. I want to be more passionate bout the things in life. But I don't know how to. I've been laid back too long. No wonder I don't get things the way I want it to be. It feels as if I limited myself and I myself was actually not limited by anything. I'm going to spend some time on developing my own character for now...
All I know now is, I want to get out and be more passionate..more zealous about the things I do. But then again, I can't understand how some people can never see the situations at times. How they come up with their own judgemental ideas. I mean, the point they pointed out to me is true of course. That's why it hurts. Haih...ah well..I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.
I find these few characteristics of people most unattractive....call me judgemental if u like,but hei...I think most people would agree with me on this one..
1. Rude - no tad bit of respect for the other individual. I mean if you want to have it as a joke, fine. But don't keep on repeating that act. It gets annoying. And don't expect me to answer you back nicely.
2. Pushy - I hate pushy people. You want to be a leader, earn that respect. Don't force that respect out. Pushy people are VERY annoying. The only people who I allow to be pushy and not hate them for life would only be my parents and my sisters. If you're not in that category, be pushy and I won't respond to you at all. Whatever you say would just be shrugged off unless of course if you're my boss.
3. Taking people for granted - hah. This is the most annoying one of all. They think that they can treat people how they want to treat them without considering the person's feelings. But let me tell you this, eventhough the person doesn't show it, but deep within the person will definitely hold a resentment against you. It's a cycle...what goes around comes around. So think about it. I've had it enough being taken for granted. Any nice person can become a monster if provoked. So think about it before you provoke me again..it ain't gonna be nice.
4. Self righteous people - as I wrote before in my previous posts longg ago...I HATE THIS KIND OF PEOPLE!! Stop acting so self righteous. You're no better than us. Don't think you are. You're deceiving yourself if you do.
AhHh..I feel so much better now. It feels like a big relief. Went for a jazz concert last night and they had a brasserie. Was good tho I felt like sleeping throughout the concert.-.-" Sigh. Was too tired.
That's it for now. I'm gonna be more passionate bout things in my life and bout my life. I want to change..I need to change.. ¶ 2:47 AM
I don't know. Things have been running through my head. People have been annoying me. I don't know. Do I really have THAT which they say I do? I can't see the potential. Worst of all, I know if I want something I should go out and get it and not wait for it to come for me..but that's only if I WANT something.
What if I don't want it? Then there wouldn't be any effort placed into it. I guess reflecting on my own actions, I finally recognized one of my flaws. I'm not passionate about anything enough to push myself for it. I guess I'm way too laid back. No..I AM way too laid back. I've screwed up so many things. Now I look at myself in the mirror. All I can see is that I have nothing to be passionate about. More like my passions have been doused out. I feel life is pointless at times.
Then I wonder why some people are so successful. Why are they so smart? So intelligent? So much better compared to my current level. I guess the answer lies in passion. I want to be more passionate bout the things in life. But I don't know how to. I've been laid back too long. No wonder I don't get things the way I want it to be. It feels as if I limited myself and I myself was actually not limited by anything. I'm going to spend some time on developing my own character for now...
All I know now is, I want to get out and be more passionate..more zealous about the things I do. But then again, I can't understand how some people can never see the situations at times. How they come up with their own judgemental ideas. I mean, the point they pointed out to me is true of course. That's why it hurts. Haih...ah well..I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.
I find these few characteristics of people most unattractive....call me judgemental if u like,but hei...I think most people would agree with me on this one..
1. Rude - no tad bit of respect for the other individual. I mean if you want to have it as a joke, fine. But don't keep on repeating that act. It gets annoying. And don't expect me to answer you back nicely.
2. Pushy - I hate pushy people. You want to be a leader, earn that respect. Don't force that respect out. Pushy people are VERY annoying. The only people who I allow to be pushy and not hate them for life would only be my parents and my sisters. If you're not in that category, be pushy and I won't respond to you at all. Whatever you say would just be shrugged off unless of course if you're my boss.
3. Taking people for granted - hah. This is the most annoying one of all. They think that they can treat people how they want to treat them without considering the person's feelings. But let me tell you this, eventhough the person doesn't show it, but deep within the person will definitely hold a resentment against you. It's a cycle...what goes around comes around. So think about it. I've had it enough being taken for granted. Any nice person can become a monster if provoked. So think about it before you provoke me again..it ain't gonna be nice.
4. Self righteous people - as I wrote before in my previous posts longg ago...I HATE THIS KIND OF PEOPLE!! Stop acting so self righteous. You're no better than us. Don't think you are. You're deceiving yourself if you do.
AhHh..I feel so much better now. It feels like a big relief. Went for a jazz concert last night and they had a brasserie. Was good tho I felt like sleeping throughout the concert.-.-" Sigh. Was too tired.
That's it for now. I'm gonna be more passionate bout things in my life and bout my life. I want to change..I need to change.. ¶ 2:47 AM
