fickleness.. I just found out something about myself. It's not that I just found it, it's been there all along. And I was just thinking bout it....I am fickled. Hahaha..

I don't know why. I agonize the feeling of being fickle. Fickle in the sense of I don't know what I want...and this only occurs with my emotions. And in this process, I fear it disables me in the process of liking someone. I hate it when I like someone and then next thing I know, poof, I like someone else. It's just too annoying. And not only that, I feel like shit when that happens. I feel like an indecisive person who might just hurt someone. I don't want that to happen, because I wouldn't want something like that to happen to me.

I feel that I am not having a certain sense of loyalty. I am too much of a thinker, that there are times I think too much and fail to act. It's just not good. I regret a lot of things when it comes to girls who I like/liked. And from this point on, I don't want to regret anymore. I just hate being so fickled. I've decided, that from this moment on, I will steer clear till I sort out my emotions. Till I sort out my weakness, till I sort out my sense of loyalty. I don't like yo-yoing about. It ain't fun...and it totally ruins the whole thing. Sigh~

If I ever like a girl the next time, and she meets certain important criterias, I will go for her all the way (also must see if I'm ready or not). I will make sure I'm not fickled with her. I will make sure I try my best till I can finally say at the end that I did everything I could. I hope I can hold on to my words, because words without actions are meaningless. I'll make sure that my feelings for her are not just for the moment. I don't want to be indecisive anymore.

Hmm..yeah..this is what I came up with after a short discussion with Nick. Thanks for the feedback. Now, it's time for me to get to bed. Early class at 9 am tomorrow. Sighz. Till the next time...=)  ¶ 7:51 AM