just thoughts.. Disturbing dreams...

Dreams that occurred to me 3 times and all in different manners but had the same outcome. Could it be a sign? Omg.

Maybe I should just ignore it? Or take it as a sign and move along? Hrms...

Sometimes I feel like I'm being manipulated...hahhhhhhh..dislike that feeling the most.

On a side note, I feel as though I've been compromising myself and my principles. I need to rethink through everything that I've done. I need to sort out what's right and what's wrong. No more grey areas.

Pfft. I need space on my own some times..sigh. I hate to do this..but taking a step back always helps me figure things out that I need to figure out about. Hrms.

On another note, will be going down to Petaling Street later with Ken Zen and Su Yin and maybe Soo. Hrms. Should be dam fun weh~!:) Can't wait. Helps take my mind off things.

On another note...I learnt that there's no point trying to please everyone..cos somehow or another, we'll never be able to please everyone..but we can always pleasure someone. Hahaha..sounds dam wrong..but it's so true.

I guess sometimes I care too much for people..and all that brings is hurt and frustration on my own side. It's time I'm going to change that part of me. No point getting too involved in people's lives anymore. I don't see any point. There's only so much I can do..the rest is up to them. I need to learn the art of releasing..letting go. It's not like people appreciate how much you care for them anyway. So the point is, don't care too much. Don't even bother getting involved. Pfft. I've had it.

I always am grateful that I have friends that can support me when I fall, whom actually give me sound advice..whether I want to listen or not is another story. But I am grateful for them. But what happens when friends betray your trust? When you find out that your friendship is just hanging on a thread...? I'm not talking about anyone specific here okay. Just general talk. Hrms..I hope that shit doesn't happen often. Cos I keep on getting myself in a tight spot when that occurs and how to handle it is another thing. Haih.

I believe who I am now is made by my experiences with people I meet along the way. The naive side of me feels like it's dying away. The person in me who could always take shit now decides that this is enough shit to take already. My thoughts are changing. For better or worst, I don't know. But sometimes, I see the reality of biblical truths applied in real life. And sometimes it scares me. I feel like the person I'm becoming isn't really the person I want to be? I guess, I just feel like I'm becoming someone who is lesser than what I'm meant to be. And that sucks. I still have a naive side of me which tends to only whack me upside down when the situations come. Damn.

Sometimes I wonder...maybe my return to Malaysia was a wrong move anyway. Maybe I should have just stayed in the UK...but my heart still belonged to Malaysia. If only I had handled it properly...managed it somehow...haih. No point thinking bout all this. I do enjoy my stay Malaysia despite all the drama that I'm facing.

That's it for now. I've typed too much. Till my next thoughtful post..  ¶ 1:09 PM